A Bit Mickey Mouse

Sunday night was spent in utter bemusement. I popped down to the 'newly refurbished' RFH to catch Hal Wilner's Forest Of No Return - his newly updated tribute to Walt Disney: part of Jarvis Cocker's Meltdown festival. The portents were not good. The show started over an hour and a half late. This may have been to ensure that everyone was liqcoured up enough to withstand the shambles that was about to unfold. As the most painfully hip crowd I've EVER had the misfortune to attend a live concert with (spotted in the space of about two minutes were a couple of Mighty Boosh people, a Magic Number and some other people who were so famous I didn't recognize them) took their seats some idiot MC came out and harangued the crowd about 'being grateful' for Jarvis for putting together such an amazing bill. No apology for the wait, then...
Instantly we were plunged into a concert that beggared belief with its ineptitude. Missed cues, knocked over mikestands, feedback, bass rumbles that made the air conditioning vents over the rear stalls rattle; it was clear that not everyone on stage had been to any rehearsals.
Having said all this there were some highlights. Grace Jones singing 'Trust In Me' was irresistible in her blow-up dress and horns, Pete Doherty singing 'Chim Chim Cheree' was surprisingly together (and knew the chords - respect). Nick Cave singing 'Hi Diddly Dee' was hilarious and David Thomas was constantly good value. Also seeing jarvis, Nick, pete and Shane McGowan howling like hounds on 'Home Sweet Home' was something to tell the grandkids.
The orchestra were fine, though the acoustics don't bode well for the future and the bloke on the saw was too ubiquitous. It was equal parts eye-popping and utterly embarassing. A misssed opportunity on every level.
A final note on the RFH: The bars may have been refurbished but the old carpet's still there. There are half-completed bits of stuff everywhere and they've still got far too few toilets. The bar staff on the upper levels were mind-blowingly slow and were also spotted later getting drinking water from the toilets. Nice. All in all it was hard to see what had changed that much. Some re-launch...